I had the thought this morning how insecurity fosters defensiveness. Quickly, God reminded me of Daniel 3. Nebuchadnezzar was preparing to put Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the fiery furnace because they would not bow down to worship him. They would not compromise their beliefs, they would not cave under threats of persecution even to death…and then Nebuchadnezzar asked basically, what is your God going to do? Where is He now? And their response…we have no need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. They didn’t tell him how wrong he was, they didn’t tell him he would “pay” for his actions, they didn’t plead their case or imply self righteousness. They trusted God. They knew they served a Mighty God who was and is unlimited in His abilities. They KNEW He was able!! They were rock solid in Who He was/is and who they were in Him. Pretty awesome!!
As I continue to ponder this, I am reminded of the struggles Geiger and I have endured. His bondage presented itself in anger, my bondage showed up in codependency. And so when issues would arise he may attack me verbally saying things we both knew weren’t true if we weren’t in the middle of a storm. I would begin defending my character and my love for him, explaining myself into exhaustion. But here’s the thing, he didn’t want to hear it. He knew who I was and even though I may have caught his verbal punch, his anger had nothing to do with me. I was the one who didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know who I was in CHRIST and that He has all the authority over my identity, my value, my worth and my security. I was defending myself because I was insecure; because I was doing the defining…not God. I was seeing all my failures and mistakes, all my short comings, all my flaws…not His crazy sufficient grace and boundless love. Thank You Jesus for bringing thoughts full circle. And thank You for deciding a billion years ago who I am and not leaving it up to me❤️✝
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Marla Geiger 