Normal

My heart broke in a million pieces as she shared pieces of her past with me including trauma, walls she had constructed for self-protection and sharing her body in hopes that she would be loved.  She said she knew she wasn’t pretty but she wanted to be married.  

She was beautiful to me because she was brave, she was transparent and she was honest about her pain. I insisted that she was beautiful; she had cute dimples, glowing skin, pretty curly hair, chocolate brown eyes and a gorgeous smile. With each sliver of encouragement, her eyes lifted a little more and finally a huge grin.

The truth is, she is normal, more so than she realizes.  Every single one of us have suffering, it’s guaranteed in John 16:33.  No one gets a pass. She is normal to want to numb the pain, none of us would choose otherwise.  Each of us has our means of coping. Some choose drugs as she had to numb the pain and escape reality-at least temporarily.  Some choose shopping endlessly searching for that one thing to fill the void and ride that “high” of finding the solution only to be disillusioned shortly thereafter.  Some choose drowning sorrows and wounds in the deliciousness of tasty treasures filling our void by filling our tummies temporarily. Some choose busyness to avoid being still long enough to realize and process the baggage we carry.  

We can muster up countless ways to convince ourselves–THIS will be the answer.  This will be the one thing that fixes “it” for me. The enemy has convinced us that numbing or escaping pain is the way to healing–but it absolutely is a lie. He has also deceived us into believing an apology, justice, or confronting our offender will bring healing–more lies.  Healing is a movement toward wholeness. It’s something we can choose to do without any apology, any confrontation, or any justice. We have been betrayed into relinquishing our power to heal into a set of perfect circumstances before we can move forward–it’s a lie. We have the power to begin healing even if there is no apology, even if there is no justice, even if we do not confront our offender.  

The enemy also fabricates the notion that we sit alone in our misery…that no one has pain and trials quite like we do.  This tempts us to stir in self reliance not seeking support or encouragement from others believing there is no way they could understand.  He whispers in our ears that we are all alone–no one cares, nothing will ever change, there is no way out that seems readily available–but he is a liar!!

The Bible tells us God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Biblical truth doesn’t say anything else is required except God. We can choose to seek Him, just as the infirm woman did, full of faith that He can set us free. We can choose to believe He can take even the ugliest parts of our story and somehow use them for good and for His glory. Suffering and trials can be considered training ground to be a support to others and also a means of refining for us, teaching us to rely even more on Him.

Normal is defined as a standard, as typical, as usual, as expected.  Let’s accept the truth that it is normal to endure suffering–but let us process our pain in an abnormal way from how the world has readily taught us.  Let us run to Jesus with our pain, like a child with a scraped knee runs to their parents, eager for him to bind up our wounds and foster healing.   

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