Buckets

Earlier this morning, I had read a post on social media that spoke of heaping grace on our friends heads by the bucket full and it obviously left an impression. So the words that tumbled out of my mouth were that we all pour out buckets of grace and love as we negotiate this season’s circumstances. Buckets of grace and love for the essential personnel as they are worn and weary and for their health to endure amidst exposure. Buckets of grace and love to all those working in the grocery stores to meet our needs. Buckets of grace and love to those who think or do differently than we falsely deem righteous in this unchartered territory. Buckets of grace and love to each and every one of us because we just don’t always get it right.

As I continued to pray, this bucket idea became an assignment to pen to paper, but not until I had finished praying.  I had a long list of people to pray for today as I flipped through my notebook for recent prayer requests and then transferred my eyes to the next list of needs.  This is a chalkboard in one of our extra rooms in the house. Many of these names noted are continuous. They are family members, those I meet with for counseling, those who are in some long valleys and more.  

I diligently scrolled through the names and after some time, my eyes landed on my husband’s.  Our anniversary is coming up next month and I am easily emotionally undone this time of year thinking where God has brought us from.  I began to think not of buckets of grace and love but of other buckets we have carried, buckets much less appealing.  

We have both carried buckets of shame and condemnation, slopping and spilling our frail egos on nearly everyone in our path.  We have lugged performance and people pleasing in as big of buckets as we could find to prove our value to those all around, begging them to notice our worth and significance.  We have carted buckets of anger and codependency which seem to keep filling each other up no matter how hard we tried to empty them.  

We have transported buckets void of real contents.  Empty buckets filled with an absence of identity, not knowing who we truly were and tenaciously seeking the substance to make those buckets overflow with nearly every temporary trapping of this world.  We have toted buckets empty of peace and completely full of a stale air named domestic violence. We were aware and yet unaware. These buckets were heavy, and messy, and ugly. Despite our best efforts to let go and leave them behind, our grip seemed to be glued to the handle.  

And as I processed all this in my mind, still in prayer–I came back to buckets of grace and love.  God showered us with buckets of grace and love; each of us and our marriage. It was His loving kindness that drew us to Him and changed us.  He emptied all those buckets filled with things that were not of Him and replaced them with His absolute truth, crazy grace and boundless, unconditional love…and it began to heal us…and transform us…and set us free. 

Because of You, Lord, we didn’t give up.

Because of You, God, we are made new.

Because of You, Jesus, we know our true identity.

Because of You, we know what true love is–it’s You!

Because of You, we are able to give the very grace You have lavished on us.

Because of You, Dear Lord, we have a story of healing and redemption.

Because of You, Oh God–our buckets are filled to overflow with your endless buckets of grace and love.

Dear Lord, you are the true bucket filler upper.  The temporary trappings of this world give us empty promises of significance, identity, love and more–You are the answer to all of our desires.  Let us cease seeking all that leaves us falsely filled and obliviously empty. Let our only pursuit be You. In Jesus name…amen.