Ushering

In full transparency, I want to share that something I have been asking God to help me with is to be mindful of the leading of the Holy Spirit and for him also to help me surrender my own leading (ugh!).

I don’t know about you, but I feel like so much of our days can be habitual or scheduled that I wonder how many times I am missing the Spirit’s leading. I am guessing a bazillion and I don’t want that to be true of me. So I have been praying for help in this area but also trying not to be an overthinker about it because I truly do want it to be Spirit led and not Marla led. Lord knows I do way too much of that.

So much like any other day, I came home from work tonight and gathered the mail on the way in the house. I sorted the mail, washed out my coffee cup, opened an amazon delivery box, normal routine things. I picked up my purse and work tote and headed to the bedroom and without even thinking about it (and I never do this), I sat down at my desk and turned on worship music on the computer.

One song after another played. Send Me by Jenn Johnson, As You Find Me by Hillsong, Reckless Love/Relentless by Steffany Gretzinger…I sat still as each song played. Sometimes I sang along, sometimes my head was bowed, sometimes I wept. I felt God’s presence on a Monday night, after work, at my desk, in my bedroom and it was intimate and unexpected and wonderful.

Now, I am not sharing this because I am surprised by His presence-I know that He is with us always.

I am sharing this because I know that had I not allowed the Holy Spirit to usher me in ways that were outside my normal routine and pattern of life, in ways that slowed me down at a time that would normally be a busy time (maybe fixing dinner or chatting about the day), in ways that made Marla’s ushering surrender to His ushering–none of this would have happened and I would have missed something so precious and something my soul desperately needed.

We rush through life with all the distractions, schedules, appointments, errands, lists of to-dos. I can only imagine how many of these moments I have missed. I don’t want that to continue to be my story.

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